God Leads Us Along---George A. Young

In shadowy pastures so rich and so sweet,
God leads His dear children along.
Where the water's cool flow bathes the weary one's feet,
God leads His dear children along.



Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along.
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.

Though sorrows befall us and satan oppose,

God leads His dear children along.

Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes;

God leads His dear children along.

Some through the waters, some through the flood

Some through the fire but all through the blood

Some through great sorrow but God gives a song

In the night season and all the day long.                                            

In shadowy pastures so rich and so sweet,

God leads His dear children along.


 

(lyrics of a song that has meant SO MUCH to me in this journey)

All we have is God...

When I recall the times I thought I couldn't face another disappointment, couldn't clamber over another boulder, couldn't even take another step...and yet I did, I'm filled with amazement and gratitude. We have all been in those places where all we have is God, places where our human strength is sapped, places that leave us with nowhere to turn but to God.



No one would intentionally seek to go to those places but when we find ourselves there and we discover God already there, even in the dark and pain, those are some of the sweetest moments in life.

You've Got to Know...

There are people who can walk away from you...
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you...
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over...
—T.D. Jakes

The kind of man we prayed for our daughter to marry...

• A dedicated believer of the same doctrinal persuasion, equipped to lead and teach his family
• Motivated by a sincere desire to glorify God through his life and the life of his family

• Faithful in his church attendance and service in the church

• Involved in work and service that would benefit from a wife’s help and support

• Well-established in his vocational direction

• Financially free

• Teachable – seeks counsel, does not isolate himself in decisions, responds humbly to correction and suggestions

• A one-woman man – has saved himself for his wife

• Sexually discreet – not flirtatious

• Self-disciplined

• Respected by those who know him and work with him

• Responsible – keeps his word and his commitments

• Humbly under authority – in home, in church, under civil law

• A student of God’s Word, seriously looking to it for guidance in all areas of life.

• Committed to homeschooling his children and in leading/participating in the schooling

• Committed to providing for his family and allowing his wife to care for the family at home

• Honest – does not try to appear to be something he is not, does not misrepresent facts

• Does not speak evil of others

• Words are supported by his actions

• A hard worker

• A servant’s heart, supported by action

• Strong leadership qualities demonstrated in his life

• A man who will lead our daughter and their children in holiness and service

• Money saved or vocational training that has fairly certain future

We recognize that our daughters will marry humans, which means they will marry sinners. Their husbands won’t be perfect. They will most likely not meet every “qualification” on this list. That’s OK. Our daughters are sinners, too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  

I don't know where I copied this list from. And I am sorry I didn't save the link so I can give credit where credit is due. But at the time I copied it, I was still in a black fog and didn't do a lot of things I should have.

As the days pass, we learn more and more that this is NOT the kind of man our daughter married. Sometimes, people attempt to comfort me by saying their marriage won't last so let's just pray that they get divorced soon. However, that is not what we want for our daughter. Even if we think that might be a good thing. Marriage is lifetime commitment so unless she is being abused or in danger, we want their marriage to last.

They have moved back into the city and so we will see them more often now. I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but in our case, it didn't seem to. It was awkward and uncomfortable every time they came into town. I am hoping that seeing them more often will tend to "normalize" things. 

I don't have alot of hope, humanly speaking, but God is a God of miracles and might, and can soften the hardest heart. Mine included. Pain has, I believe, toughened up my heart. When I was in survival mode, I steeled myself against the hurt, which served only to deaden the pain but not remove it. 

Now that I have survived, I am seeking to move into a "Thrive" mode, where we can be happy to see each other, where I can reach out for a hug and not be rebuffed or pointedly ignored or passed by to hug someone else. I am guardedly optimistic.

He Maketh No Mistake

"He Maketh No Mistake"

My Father’s way may twist and turn
My heart may throb and ache,                                           

But in my soul I’m glad to know,

He maketh no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead,
For He doth know the way.

Tho’ night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break,
I’ll pin my faith, my all, in Him,
He maketh no mistake.

There’s so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight’s far too dim,
But come what may,
I’ll simply trust and leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift,
And plain it all He’ll make,
Through all the way, tho’ dark to me,
He made not one mistake.

- A.M. Overton, 1932

Heavy

My purse, like my heart, seems to get heavier by the minute. The note has been in my purse for 48 hours now and I cannot bear to look at it. I cannot bear to read the justifications, fabrications and accusations I am almost certain it contains.

I feel the need to protect myself---experience has been a bitter teacher. The first note--which I was sure brought me word of her desire for reconciliation--was only a letter from Joe and full of nonsense. The second note read like a bad novel and was full of accusations and bore little resemblance to reality. And the third note/email was nothing more than a demand for items she had left behind when she ran away.

I am not brave or curious. I am emotionally fragile after all the "fireworks" of the Fourth. I am heartsore, weary, wounded and too numb to be hopeful.

On the Fourth, I touched my daughter for the first time in 2 1/2 years. She initiated the hug so at least there's that. I held her, I wept on her shoulder, I said something about missing her (or something...I can't even remember what it was that I said) She pulled away and only said goodbye before she walked off.

And my purse and my heart are both still heavy.

Moving on...

Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what happened and continue living...