Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. 

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . . 

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see."

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

"You'd have what you want but you wouldn't know Me..."

Two Sides

a poem by Hannah--11 years old

                                                           Hannah and Mary-Grace
                                                                The Alamo--2009
                                                                         before



Two sides of every story
Two sides of every scene
I'm not sure what you were seeing

I'm not saying I know your pain but I have mine

You changed so fast
I don't know who you are

I know I'm hurting your feelings but mine's already hurt

I was so confused--why did you leave us?

Misquoted Scripture

[The following is taken from the blog of a young mother, Jesica, who had ovarian cancer, and was written less than six months before she passed away. http://pixiemarierose.blogspot.com/2009/04/misquoted-scripture.html
It encouraged and admonished me.  And so I share it with you.] 

How often have you said or been told, "God won't give you more than you can handle"?

I bet it's a LOT.

Wanna know how many times I've heard it? About a zillion and ten, I think.

Wanna know something interesting? 

It's not even true! 

WHOA! I just blew your mind, didn't I?

That isn't what the passage of the bible says at all! It says God will not let you be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear, and that He will always give you a way out.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

So you tell me ... 
when I say:  "I'm so tired of having cancer. I'm sick of being sick. Tired of being tired. Why won't God release me from this and heal me?," what exactly does that passage in Corinthians have to do with ANYTHING?

Oh wait ... I know ... NOTHING!! I'm not tempted, and I'm not sinning. (well ... ok, I sin ... but I'm not sinning when I'm tired of being sick)

God WILL most certainly give us more than we can bear. Yes, He will.

Wanna know why?

Because when we are weak, we are made strong IN HIM. Because when we get tired and quit, He takes over. When we can admit that there is NO WAY we can bear up through our trials ... but that God is faithful and ever present ... we are giving Him the glory.

He deserves the glory. Without Him by our sides, how would we ever get through any of this ... this ... crap we call life?

In 2 Corinthians, the 7th chapter, it says that God comforts the depressed.

Not that He removes all sadness and despair. He doesn't tell us our faith is lacking. He doesn't tell us to buck up and move on. He doesn't even say "I'll never give you more than you can handle."

He just comforts us. Picture a sad kid. Picture his daddy picking him up and holding him and comforting him until the tears stop. God does that for us.

I'm genuinely grateful for the people in my life who try to comfort me and offer encouragement. I love that people care enough to try. It's beautiful. It's humbling. It makes my heart warm and my day brighter.

But you can't fix it. None of you can. Offering up platitudes and cliches doesn't heal cancer. I don't want to be told that God won't give me more than I can handle, because He HAS. So much more than I can handle on my own. More than I ever would've thought I could survive, never mind handle gracefully. More than most people could even imagine. More. Much more.

Wanna know what Bible verse I'd rather you memorize and use?

Romans 12:15 (New International Version)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.



That's all. Just be sad with me. Be tired of this journey, like I am. Hold my hand and just LET me be sad. Because I am sad. I am scared. And that's ok. Because God comforts me in my sadness. No one can "fix" it ... but God will see me through it.

Next time a friend comes to you with a broken heart, a broken spirit, a sad story, or in pain, will you please not tell him that God won't give him more than he can handle. Would you please just love them where they are? Just mourn WITH them, like the Bible tells us to do.

Thanks. 

Jesica