- A dedicated believer of the same doctrinal persuasion, equipped to lead and teach his family
- Motivated by a sincere desire to glorify God through his life and the life of his family
- Faithful in his church attendance and service in the church
- Involved in work and service that would benefit from a wife’s help and support
- Well-established in his vocational direction
- Financially free
- Teachable – seeks counsel, does not isolate himself in decisions, responds humbly to correction and suggestions
- A one-woman man – has saved himself for his wife
- Sexually discreet – not flirtatious
- Self-disciplined
- Respected by those who know him and work with him
- Responsible – keeps his word and his commitments
- Humbly under authority – in home, in church, under civil law
- A student of God’s Word, seriously looking to it for guidance in all areas of life.
- Committed to homeschooling his children and in leading/participating in the schooling
- Committed to providing for his family and allowing his wife to care for the family at home
- Honest – does not try to appear to be something he is not, does not misrepresent facts
- Does not speak evil of others
- Words are supported by his actions
- A hard worker
- A servant’s heart, supported by action
- Strong leadership qualities demonstrated in his life
- A man who will lead our daughter and their children in holiness and service
- Money saved or vocational training that has fairly certain future
We recognize that our daughters will marry humans, which means they will marry sinners. Their husbands won’t be perfect. They will most likely not meet every “qualification” on this list. That’s OK. Our daughters are sinners, too.
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I don't know where I copied this list from. And I am sorry I didn't save the link so I can give credit where credit is due. But at the time I copied it, I was still in a black fog and didn't do a lot of things I should have.
As the days pass, we learn more and more that this is NOT the kind of man our daughter married. Sometimes, people attempt to comfort me by saying their marriage won't last so let's just pray that they get divorced soon. However, that is not what we want for our daughter. Even if we think that might be a good thing. Marriage is lifetime commitment so unless she is being abused or in danger, we want their marriage to last.
They have moved back into the city and so we will see them more often now. I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but in our case, it didn't seem to. It was awkward and uncomfortable every time they came into town. I am hoping that seeing them more often will tend to "normalize" things.
I don't have alot of hope, humanly speaking, but God is a God of miracles and might, and can soften the hardest heart. Mine included. Pain has, I believe, toughened up my heart. When I was in survival mode, I steeled myself against the hurt, which served only to deaden the pain but not remove it.
Now that I have survived, I am seeking to move into a "Thrive" mode, where we can be happy to see each other, where I can reach out for a hug and not be rebuffed or pointedly ignored or passed by to hug someone else. I am guardedly optimistic.
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I don't know where I copied this list from. And I am sorry I didn't save the link so I can give credit where credit is due. But at the time I copied it, I was still in a black fog and didn't do a lot of things I should have.
As the days pass, we learn more and more that this is NOT the kind of man our daughter married. Sometimes, people attempt to comfort me by saying their marriage won't last so let's just pray that they get divorced soon. However, that is not what we want for our daughter. Even if we think that might be a good thing. Marriage is lifetime commitment so unless she is being abused or in danger, we want their marriage to last.
They have moved back into the city and so we will see them more often now. I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but in our case, it didn't seem to. It was awkward and uncomfortable every time they came into town. I am hoping that seeing them more often will tend to "normalize" things.
I don't have alot of hope, humanly speaking, but God is a God of miracles and might, and can soften the hardest heart. Mine included. Pain has, I believe, toughened up my heart. When I was in survival mode, I steeled myself against the hurt, which served only to deaden the pain but not remove it.
Now that I have survived, I am seeking to move into a "Thrive" mode, where we can be happy to see each other, where I can reach out for a hug and not be rebuffed or pointedly ignored or passed by to hug someone else. I am guardedly optimistic.
